As if managing a computer network, or whatever it is IT people do, isn’t hard enough they also have to deal with a lot of idiots. I’m one of those idiots. Apparently instant messenger is supposed to be a tool and not used as a toy. But come on!!! - Like anyone could pass up the perfect opportunity to use their favorite lines from any of the “80’s, cold war era movies. Below I’ve provided you with the actual conversation I just had with IT. They will most likely have me killed one day.

RHaney says:

where did you put those files that the intern came up with?

TechServ says:

go to network place

TechServ says:

you will see her files

TechServ says:

let me check her file name

RHaney says:

where the hell is network place?

TechServ says:

in your network connection

RHaney says:

ok, i’ve hacked into the mainframe

RHaney says:

i need the codes so I can stop the missile launch

TechServ says:

what?

TechServ says:

holdon

RHaney says:

I need those launch codes damn it, we don’t have much time!

Hootie and the Blowfish released Cracked Rear View in 1994. It was the highest-selling album of 1995, with 10.5 million shipments that year alone, eventually shipping 16 million copies to retailers by March 31st 1999. It is currently tied with several other albums, all certified 16x platinum, for the 15th best selling album of all time in the United States. (RIAA Top 100)

There are 12 songs on Cracked Rear View. One of the songs is only instrumental. That leaves 11 lyrical songs. Of those 11 songs, 8 of them use some form of “cry” in the lyrics. One more song, Drowning, does not use the term “cry” but rather “tears”. So if we include Drowning with the other 8 songs, we have a total of 9 out of 11. That’s roughly 82% of the album.

I have no idea what any of this means. Maybe it’s like the Pink Floyd/Wizard of Oz thing but instead it’s to couple with Fievel Goes West, the disappointing sequel to the cinematic masterpiece, American Tail. Take this useless information and whatever unfounded conclusions that you may draw from it, keep in mind are absolutely correct and should be defended militantly if ever challenged.

Keep an eye out for more frivolity packed information in the future.

I have returned from Asia, unscathed from the terror of Sinlaku. According to my family, who was here in the States during my ordeal and quite certain that this typhoon would only chose me for destruction, not a lot of media coverage on the typhoon was given in the shadow of hurricane Ike. And since my mother couldn’t find any news about the storm, her first rational conclusion was that the ocean had swallowed all of Asia. That might be overstating things a bit. However, I’m pretty confident I can say what I wish about my beloved mother because I’m equally certain she won’t be reading this, as my best guess is that mum thinks that the blogosphere is the newest planet chosen to replace Pluto after it was officially downgraded from our solar system. Sinlaku was my first typhoon experience, and thus why I’m probably writing way too much about it. I was aware of the common dangers associated with such a storm, well pretty much just the wind and rain part. However, I had no idea of the hidden danger. Let me explain. The key to international travel is packing light. Never take more than you need. If you can recycle a few outfits, then do it. I had planned for a 10 day trip, but when the storm rolled in that trip was extended to 17 days. Here in lies the danger. Working a shirt or two back into the wardrobe is one thing, but having to reuse undies leaves potential for disaster. Going commando under jeans in a humid climate is not an option…just imagine the diaper rash. So what options is one left with? You’re absolutely right, laundry done prison style. I spent my last day riding out the storm in my hotel room, washing boxers in the sink with a bar of soap and then drying them to a toasty perfection with the hairdryer offered as part of my accomodations. I’ve seen some survival expert on TV showing people how to get water out in the desert if you’re ever stranded. It’s an important skill to have. How else would you clean your underwear without water?

I see I have made quite the blunder. Apparently I didn’t do the proper research before poking a little fun at the “Garden State”. No, it’s not that any of my previous listed facts about NJ were incorrect. It’s that I forgot that Red Ledge’s very talented Art Director is a NJ native. I’m no scientist, but I’m pretty sure there is a direct correlation between growing up in Jersey and the ability to create stunning computer graphics. In my probably absolutely correct theory, I imagine the summers spent indoors due to either the acid rain, contaminated water, smog or nuclear fallout gives Jerseyans a leg up when it comes to extra hours spent in front of the computer. However, I do have to give it to these talented Red Ledgers. When I first saw the picture of me standing in a chicken coop my intial reaction was, “man, I drank a lot more at that July 4th BBQ than I thought”. My second thought was, “wow, I hate the people I work with and I can never trust them again”.